Dear [person I can’t wait to get away from]:


I am writing this NC to you because:

a. …I think it’s time we see other people

b. …the depths of your vile personality were not immediately apparent when I met you, but they are now.

c. …your aura of mind-numbing boringness is something I can no longer tolerate.


At the moment, I just need some space:

a. …without you in it.

b. …that can be measured in light years.

c. …and lots and lots of time.


We really did have some great times together, I’ll admit, but:

a. …your personality ruined it.

b. …I found your highly jealous, paranoid, controlling and possessive behavior far less enjoyable than you might think.

c. …they were greatly outnumbered by the times you made me want to kill myself.  Or you.


Our time together meant so much to me because:

a. …I can now use that as a cautionary tale if I should ever go insane and get involved with anyone ever again.

b. …I learned so much about the Linden Labs TOS agreement.

c. …I am now absolutely certain about what to avoid in the future.


I think the next step for us is:

a. …for you to remove your things from my house before I burn it down.

b. …my obtaining a protective order and you respecting it.

c. …for you to realize there is no “us.”


I certainly wish you:

a. …happiness in a future relationship.

b. …get involved someday with someone who makes you just as miserable as you have made me.

c. …would go away quietly and never speak to me again.


Missy is a strong-willed, opinionated procrastinator who prides herself on her ability to remain unbiased. She collects rare and exquisite letters and much prefers the consonants over the vowels. She is renowned for her ability to vigorously defend her position even when clearly proven wrong. She is best known for making snap judgments and she never second-guesses herself…or does she?


  • Reply April 1, 2014

    Ginevra Perdide

    Oh Em Gee, those are so hysterically funny. I almost want to break up with my SL beau just to be able to use them. I’m going to be giggling all day long. Thank you for posting those.

    • Reply April 1, 2014


      Glad to help, Ginerva! At least now you know that when and if that time comes, you’ll be prepared. 😉

  • Reply April 1, 2014

    Tsukara Henusaki

    I thought it was an article at first but this is bloody brilliant!

  • Reply May 1, 2014

    Phoenix Sings

    You dated my x?

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