A FEW GOOD MEN

Meeting good men in Second Life doesn’t have to be as complicated as you might think. The trick is to learn the various categories of Second Life men and then figure out where each one you meet fits. It’s really very easy. You start by reviewing the three basic types of Second Life men:

 

  1. The Jackasses
  2. The Boring
  3. The Possibly Interesting

 

The sad truth is, the men you will most often encounter in Second Life fit nicely into category one. They make their status clear from the start with their seductive pickup lines such as “u mak fuk?”, “wat are u into?” or “u R sexy.” Many of them will clarify their status with helpful tips you can find in their profiles such as “I am a Lord and Master and you will bow to me!”, or “Wimin R btchs.” These are the self-categorizing men who selflessly indicate their status in the first few seconds. Jackasses: We collectively thank you.

 

The second category is far more sympathetic but insufferable just the same. When seen in their natural habitat, the boring will be milling about and sending random IMs usually consisting of nothing more than “hi” which may in fact be spelled wrong. The Boring take having nothing interesting to say to a new and glorious level. They will type such scintillating prose as “you look nice” and “this is my first time here.” The Boring underscore their nature by having nothing or virtually nothing about themselves in their profiles giving you no indication that they are, in fact, human. In the alternative, they may also have endless, meaningless pontifications in their picks sections that everyone stops reading after “This is what I think about…” and “In my opinion.” Notably, those in category one far outnumber those in category two, but for some reason that’s not too comforting.

 

The final category is quite predictably the rarest of them all: The Possibly Interesting. You will have to wade through a vast and polluted ocean to find a gem like this. There is a simple test if you think you’ve found one. You can quickly recognize a man in this category as you won’t instantly be angry or bored when you meet him. When he first speaks to you, you will be shocked to find he’s actually reviewed your profile before he messaged you. Be careful, ladies. The Interesting insist that you be interesting too. Bastards. If you think you’ve found one in this category, my advice: Don’t tell anyone. Covet your prize. There just aren’t enough interesting men to go around.

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Missy is a strong-willed, opinionated procrastinator who prides herself on her ability to remain unbiased. She collects rare and exquisite letters and much prefers the consonants over the vowels. She is renowned for her ability to vigorously defend her position even when clearly proven wrong. She is best known for making snap judgments and she never second-guesses herself…or does she?

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